If your relationship is in trouble and you need to work on getting back together, here are seven solid private label 3d mink eyelash on stopping a break up in its tracks.
I know you feel a little panicky, but it’s okay. You’re actually in a great position.
The very good news is that it hasn’t ended yet. Salvaging your relationship is easier than you think. You can even get back together after a private label 3d mink eyelash.
The nerve-wracking news is that one of you will have to take the lead, and guide your partnership through this. If you’re reading this, that means it’s you. I’m sorry. I understand. But here is a bit of solid advice for you.
First and foremost:
1. STAY CALM
Listen very closely. If you freak out and panic, you lose.I mean it. Whatever is going on, stay calm. Your partner will either try to provoke you or is walling you out. Either way, it’s not too late.
Heck, even if you do break up it’s not too late. Sometimes breaking up is the best thing for a relationship because it gives both of you a chance to reconnect and make your future relationship better.
If you stay calm now, you won’t have to do any damage control later. So take a breath and look up some relaxing breathing exercises on the internet, take a walk, get some space and go to step 2.
2. Time to do some soul-searching.
Is this relationship worth saving? Only you can say for certain. Are you getting what you need out of this partnership? Do you feel loved, wanted, supported? Or is it just a habit, or convenient?
If you come to the honest conclusion that you want this relationship, here is a little tidbit for you. Most relationships are in trouble or break up because either one side or both sides don’t feel appreciated or respected.
3. Find out where your partner stands.
This will be the tough part. You’re going to have to ask your partner what’s going on in their mind. Most likely, they are going to be defensive and nasty and not want to talk about it, so it’s going to start a fight.
STAY CALM. You’re about to hear a lot of things that are going to make you want to attack back. But you aren’t there to defend yourself or fix it. That comes later. Right now is a fact gathering exercise.
Right now, you just want to hear what’s going through their mind. You’re looking for repeated phrases. “You never want to…”, “…selfish….gossiping….your friends….your drinking….messy…your family…steal the remote…”
Ask questions. How long have you been feeling like this? Could you give me more information? How about an example?
STAY CALM. This is not going to be easy. Again, no one likes to be yelled at, and you’re about to have all your flaws (real and perceived), flung at you in the meanest possible way. No one can hurt you like someone who knows you.
If you find yourself losing it, say, “I want to listen to what you’re saying, but I’m starting to get mad and I have a hard time hearing you when I’m this upset. I need to go think about what you just said.”
Then leave. Even if they start to follow you. Leave. Take a walk and burn off the energy. Think about it. What were the repeated phrases?
That sounds hard to do. It is. It really is; but remember that you are the one taking the lead here. If you want to save your relationship, you need to hear it. Ouch.
Besides staying calm, this is the most important step, so to put it in another way:
Most of us would like to avoid pain and blame. It’s easy to blame your partner, to private label 3d mink eyelash out, use guilt or tell them things that you think that they want to hear. Especially at this stage, but remember this:
It’s your fault too. Take your hits. Listen to what their really saying. Defensiveness and anger are your worst enemies right now. Every time you private label 3d mink eyelash out, shout, blame or lose your temper, YOU are losing precious ‘points’. Enough points gone, game over. You both lose. Then you have to take a break and then start working on getting back together.
Now is the time to listen, and you can’t listen and talk at the same time. Underneath all the anger and pain they are sending your way, it’s important to remember that they aren’t saying these hurtful things to hurt you. They are saying these hurtful things in order to get it out in the open, to try to save your relationship.
They may not be any good at it, but if they are talking to you, even if they are yelling, there is still hope because they care enough to get mad about it.
You must be the one to keep a cool head, and calmly realize when it’s time to stop talking for a while, so both of you can go off and think about what was just said.
4. Find the core issues.
Let’s say you keep catching them seriously flirting with others. Is it the flirting that is the issue?
Often, behavior is just the symptom. Most people want an intimate connection, or have some other need, and they will do whatever it takes to fulfill it. Generally the core issue has something to do with feeling appreciated, or admired.
You can guilt them into not flirting so much, but if you haven’t dealt with the core issue, it will just pop up another way, like a pornography addiction or whatever action they feel they need to get what they want.
What were the repeated phrases? For that matter, in your internal dialog what are your repeated phrases? What are you missing?
5. Get some space.
Now that you two have gone through that difficult time, it’s time to take a breather. Say, “We have a lot to think about. But I think we’re both too emotionally charged to deal with it right now. So let’s give it a rest, not talk about it and just be nice for a week.”
Then spend as much time apart as possible. Go to the library, go the park, go to a friends’ house (But don’t listen to their advice on what you should do. It’s your relationship, not theirs.), go for walks. Just get away for about a week.
You’ll be amazed how magical this cooling off phase can be.
6. Come up with a plan together.
For example, one of the core issues is that you two are just too busy with life to hang out together, you feel like roommates rather than lovers. Possible solution? Have a weekly date night, and make it a priority. Take turns coming up with creative ideas so you are both involved.
If the issue is a lack of communication, make time. 15 minutes right before you go to bed, or just when you wake up. Be consistent, because it’s easy to fall back into old habits, but if your relationship is in trouble and you want to keep it, it’s time to grow out of those unproductive habits and make new ones to take you to the next level.
If one are too dependent on the other partner, take a class, or find a hobby you like. Work on yourself. Find an interest so that you have something different to talk to your loved one about. Independence and something you talk about with passion is very sexy.
I don’t care if the dog needs washing, the report is due tomorrow or your just too tired. If you want this relationship to grow, you must make your partner a priority. Most of us don’t. That’s how the door opens for trouble like this.
7. Be patient.
It took more than one discussion and one day to get you in this mess, it will take a more than one day or talk to make your relationship private label 3d mink eyelash.
Getting back together is an ongoing process. You are both constantly growing and changing as a matter of life. Some days you are in sync with your partner, and other days, you won’t even know who this person is. That’s normal.
You got in trouble because you were in a rut. Stay in that rut and your relationship will eventually fizzle out. Grow as a person and a couple and you will be happier and your relationship more supportive.
Finally, keep your sense of humor with the absurd. Be quick to apologize, and slow to place private label 3d mink eyelash.
Stay calm. You can get back together and save your private label 3d mink eyelash.